If I Could Only See You

By: John Ryan E. Reforma

I was walking outside the window and finding out I am in a deepest shallow. I tried to hide and escaped but I’m failed to achieved it. I was so very down and felt hopeless I just suddenly realized im not all alone by myself considering the living things that surrounds me. As we enter the house of the lord (church) there’s a man lended us some seats so we quickly sit down of course I’m not alone I’m with my tita’s and Lola so when the sermon begin to start the pastor told us to please rise up..

So we followed his command and start singing the entranced song “God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind, so if you don’t understand when you can’t see he’s plan when you can trace his hand trust his heart”. My tears started to fall because Of the guilt I have in me. For all this years I blame God for what happened to me and not considering all the good things God has done for me. I felt embarrassed in front of him so I lift up my hands to praised him and to say sorry also..

My Tita look at me and ask me “why did you cry?” so I responded a wide smile with a wet face because of my tears. I continuously listened to God’s words and our pastor asked us to please rise again to sing the last song entitled Amazing grace and there’s a verse there that proves even if I can’t see him I’ve been already set free “My chains are gone I’ve been set free my christ my Savior has ransomed me and like a flood his mercy rains amazing love amazing grace”. I felt so englightened that time and after singing That very very life changing song our pastor asked for silenced and give us 2 minutes to pray for our own before the mass ends. So I prayed “oh God thanks for letting me know what life is for. Thank you for making me believed even if I can’t see you but as long as  you’re in my heart I know You’re still existed lord you’ve done so much in my life from sleeping, eating, walking, bathing, taking exams. If I could only see you back to my past life i think I already by your side now father thanks for everything”. The mass ended so peacefully and that time I already saw god through me.